Further to comments I made in an earlier entry, I feel very little satisfaction at saving the lives of the six mortal in the Hedge at the culmination of our previous mission for the Summer Court. Although I was going to do everything in power to save them my motivation was to thwart the plans of the Gentry and not out of any real concern for the mortals. This might appear cold to others but I need only remind them that my heart is indeed made of ice. It my mind the end justifies the means. If I need to save mortals to undo that mischievous schemes of the Gentry then I will; if I need to kill mortals to achieve the same ends then I will kill them. Killing other Changelings doesn't sit uncomfortably with me, however. Our existences are precarious enough without warring on each other, and discovering that some lunatic Lost are willing co-operate with the Gentry feels as if part of my form is melting. Unless ensorcelled by the Gentry how could they commit such a heinous crime? I have vague stirrings of memories of performing mercy killings in the past, perhaps related to the military background of this Blimp character that I was long ago. I suppose I have to consider our killing of those deluded and misguided Lost as mercy killings. I believe the important thing is to keep perspective; the Lost we encountered were truly beyond salvation, but where there is even a tiny glimmer of the possibility of salvation then I believe it is our duty to pursue this first, and to consider every other possibility as a last resort. I very much doubt that my bloodthirsty motley will think the same, but it is a standard I must try and maintain for myself. I think the main issue with the rest of my motley is their lack of responsibility. Scarecrow may be a possible exception, but the cowardly philosophy of his Court coupled with his own instincts for self preservation and self aggrandizement, make it unlikely. Certainly Kyte's hedonism and Tweeny's baser instincts means that any actions they take are for their own whims and desires. They have no sense of responsibility or duty. Kyte would exploit any of the Courts for his own ends regardless of how much those Courts have helped him. I find the tolerance of the Summer Court to his selfish behaviour surprising to say the least; I wouldn't stand for it if I were in a position of authority. I have tried to make John St. Elmo aware of Tweeny's recklessness. His usefulness to Summer Court depends entirely on his whims, and this should not be tolerated because he owes the Court his life. The incident with the snake and how it jeopardised the rest of the motely is typical example, and I felt duty bound to inform John St. Elmo of the events, particularly as Flickering Ember was similarly outraged. While I baulked at the idea of an official hearing before Grandfather Thunder I am hoping that John St. Elmo will be able to provide a salutary lesson for Tweeny to make him fully aware of the debt he owes the Summer Court. It is a debt that he should not be allowed to take so lightly.
I find the four Mortals that form the musical quartet calling themselves "Sin is Grace" - a banal name that is almost suits the dirge they called music - alarming, although in ways that are not fully clear to me. The journal we acquired belonging to Keith, the vocalist, as I believe is the vernacular, uses the term "Sleepers" to refer to their fellow Mortals. It is the capitalisation that I find ominous. Much in the same way that we capitalise "Mortals", or "Lost", or "Gentry" because there are very real differences between the three, his use of "Sleepers" suggests to me that they do not merely BELIEVE they are different from their fellow Mortals, but that they ARE actually different. It which case we could be dealing with something of which we have no knowledge, and I believe that we need to tread cautiously. I am hoping that our respective Courts can shed light on the unfamiliar terms in his journal, terms like "Arcanium" and "Magos", and perhaps provide some guidance on how to proceed. More than anything else I am hoping that whatever manner of creature these Mortals prove to be that they are open to reason. From Keith's journal it would appear as they have entered into a bargain with one of the Gentry without any idea of their mischievous nature; and I can only hope that they have not made a Pledge with it. They seem to view Arcadia with almost religious fervour, as if it will provide the answer to all of their questions. Perhaps if we can reveal the true nature of the Gentry and the horrors of Arcadia, as fragmented as our memories of these horrors may be, they will realise the foolishness of their ways and work with us to foil the scheme of this particular Gentry. Without a doubt they have to be stopped and I can only hope that they are open to a peaceful solution. However, the influence of the Gentry is strong and if it has corrupted them then I fear that a peaceful solution may not be an option.
As seems to increasingly be the case on the Summer Court is prepared to take direct action against these Mortals who call themselves Mages. I was very shocked to discover that they do actually possess some kind of power that normal Mortals do not possess. I had thought that only the Lost and the Gentry were able to manipulate reality for their purposes. The Summer Court's reaction, namely to blow the Mages to bits with this wonder explosive material they call C4, suggests that the threat posed to these Mages should not be taken lightly. I was slightly disappointed that direct action was necessary as I had hoped to talk to these Mages and explain my few recollections of Arcadia in order to persuade them to abandon their foolish plan. Clearly their perception of Arcadia as some kind of nirvana is based on their own ridiculous fantasies, and the Gentry are exploiting this for their own ends. However, I have no experience of these Mages, as my Court does, so I respect their wisdom and will carry out my orders. Unlike the rest of my motley, who I feel I am slowly losing to the distractions of this world. They seem to be losing all sense of perspective about our very existence, our very nature, and our plight at the hands of the Gentry. Tweeny is more interesting in it bizarre career than working for any cause. He was even prepared to ignore the orders of the Court in tackling the Mages as it clashed with some competition he was participating in, which is all the more outrageous as it is the Court that is providing him this job! Scarecrow is more interested in his own selfish pursuits - whatever they might be - that seem to take more and more of his time. And Kyte is already a lost cause, addicted to the hedonism of his vapid Court, and making all kinds of desperate pledges with Sister Abigail that will lead him goodness knows where. It seems to me as if I am the only member of my motley that has any appreciation of the seriousness and the precariousness of our very existence as Lost.
Last updated: February 27, 2014